Saw this today and it made me think....."It's simple: When you haven't forgiven those who've hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.”
I don't buy it entirely. It doesn't seem simple to me at all. I mean, how do you know when you've really forgiven someone? It seems like every time I think, ok yeah, im over it....I dream or remember something or something comes at me that just sets me upsidown again. So, even though I'm going day by day, being healthier, working hard, going back to school, dating...living my life, I've got my back turned on my future? Just because I haven't completely forgiven him? That doesn't seem right to me, especially when no one can tell me how to be sure it's forgiven. I know there's a difference between forgetting and forgiving but can't quite put my finger on the last one.
While I'm not sure that it's entirely healthy that I still dream about him, miss him and think about him often, I feel like I'm heading straight towards my future. I'm going back to school after 10 years off, have actual direction towards a degree...I'm trying to eat healthier and move more, heading towards a healthier me...a healthier future. Does that future include him? I don't know? Can you be friends with someone you were in love with for so long? Is it even possible? Or am I trying to achieve the unachievable?
I guess after all this babble the answer is still the same...who the hell knows.
I don't think you can honestly be expected to forgive him completely. Anyone who says you should be able to has their head in the clouds.
ReplyDeleteMaybe my head is in the clouds, but I think evenutally you will be able to forgive. How else will you be able to move on with no hard feelings and pain.. You will never forget though. That just makes you stronger. I love you Kim and you are strong women!
ReplyDeletejust some thoughts to ponder:
ReplyDeleteMatthew 6:9-15
"This, then, is how you should pray: " 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. ' For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/strength-bible-verses/
i know this is old and i'm late to read it but I wouldn't worry about forgiving him, even today. You can't force forgiveness. There's no way to ignore the pain and bitterness, but in time it does fade. And I think that you'll know you've forgiven him when all of a sudden you think "Ya know, whatevs." That takes a LONG time. I, personally, think you're a pretty standup person who has taken the high road, from what I've seen. :).
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