em·pa·thy
[em-puh-thee]
pə
noun 
1. The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
Sometimes empathy is a gift; you can tell how someone is feeling and better figure out how to help them feel better, if that's necessary. I find that more often than not empathy is a curse. For example, if someone in your life is going through a rough patch with large periods of uncertainty and nervousness, is on edge or withdrawn, sad or generally upset.....that's a lot of emotions to add to the ones already coursing through your mind/heart/soul. The curse there comes from not knowing how to compartmentalize those emotions. If you focus on their emotions more than your own...simply put: you can drown in them. I've known a lot of people, and been one myself, who focus on everyone but themselves and then wonder why they feel lost and anxious. What they (and I) fail to realize is that if you're not taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally, you're in no position to really care for anyone else. This is an important lesson to learn and an even more important one to teach your kids. Let me just tell you, from experience, that its true. For the majority of my last 10 years I put someone else first and struggled with myself on a daily basis. Now, it's the Kim show. Sure, I'm still empathetic and I still help in any way I can but I also try harder to remember that I'm the one that has to come first. I guess that changes when you have kids, but for now, I'll worry about me and go from there.
"When you start to develop your powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you. "
~Susan Sarandon
aka a people pleaser! I could probably write you a book write now but.. thats just TMI! So I will say I agree and I also think its ok to put others before you at times as well. Just so you don't lose yourself, although finding oneself is fun too but sometimes can be excruciating...c... im done now :)
ReplyDeleteNice! I like! As every airline flight attendant sayeth at departure - "in the event air pressure is lost, place the oxygen mask on yourself first, before assisting others, including small children traveling with you."
ReplyDelete